I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!
Despite my anxiety about ever finding a job again after being out of work for so long, I kicked ass at both interviews and got a job offer almost immediately following the second one :D I honestly can't wait to get back to selling sex toys; there's a reason it was my career for nearly a decade. I really do love it!

Anyway. I don't have a whole lot to say because I've been having bad depression following being sick. I fell out of the habit of being on dreamwidth/icon making/etc while sick, I've been really struggling to get back to it ;w; I hate when my brain is like "oh here's a thing you love, no you don't get to do it :)"

bluh bluh bluh

I finished my OG FFVII replay and it was even better than my memories, which is impressive considering how much I loved it as a teen. I have a lot of thoughts and feels that I need to put into words but I'm not feeling with it enough to do so also I don't want to go through the massive amount of screencaps I took to make a coherent post lmao

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh what else is coming up in my life.........

The Double Face climax, aka Last Mission, is coming up in ENG soon!!!!!! Can't wait to cry about their divorce unit breakup all over again ;w; Depending on how competitive it is, I'm debating going further than just maxing Madara's 5* card and actually tiering...since who knows when/if there will be another DF event...sobs.

OH RIGHT!!! I am delighted to admit that I'm wrong about something: The Project SEKAI x Ensemble Stars!! collab is coming to the world wide servers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's running in CN right now and will be running in ENG in......late August, literally over a year before its regular slot in the schedule XD idk what they're gonna do about Raika's feature scout that's supposed to run at the same time, because ENG hasn't gotten the new children yet :T

STILLLLLLLLLLLL!!! I'm so fucking excited, both for the overall event and the really good promo card of Leo where he's holding up the VOCALOID app on an iPad. It's so cute and also the best promo 5* they've ever given out, so that'll be nice ;D

I don't have anything smart left to say :T I'm still recovering so like...brain not fully online...

WAIT YES MY KITTY CAT NUIS FINALLY MADE IT FROM CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!


they're soooooooo much bigger than the bear nuis I gotta take a family picture, but for now plz enjoy them with a lavender matcha frappe I got at a newly opened bakery~
And we're finally getting our car repaired this weekend!!! It's been a long time coming of saving up for it, but now it's happening!!!!!!! And just in time for me to start my new job, too. Liz and Pat can carpool cuz their jobs are nearby and both are 9-5, but mine is completely different. Fingers crossed it doesn't need more repairs than expected!!!!

Today, Liz and I went to Joanns for potentially the last time ever- and we honored it the best way we knew how:


BY DRESSING UP IN COSPLAY, OF COURSE!!!! We had a leisurely afternoon of watching dumb shit on Youtube and then got into cosplay to make our pilgrimage ;w; I've written some here before and plenty of people have said it better, but Joanns closing is going to leave such a void in the crafting world that it's hard for me to put into words. Maybe I'll write a poem about it; maybe I'll just ramble on here in the middle of the night at some point. But we wanted to give a sendoff to the store that enabled us to start cosplaying in the first place, and I think we did well.


everyone ignore the stain on my shirt and focus on how cute we look~

( we took more pics while we were there and still, somehow, I feel like it'll never be enough )

And then every fucking mall was already closed & it was raining, so we didn't really have anywhere to muck about in cosplay? So we ended up getting bubble tea XD


I put the boys back in their bear nuis + bows, because I wanted them to go to Joanns in something I made~
Speaking of nuis...my cat kigu nuis from the Chinese enstars store finally shipped. They were supposed to ship around the 19th and didn't, and then I saw other people online sharing theirs, so I started to worry D: I even made sure to order from the official taobao, so it was like...what has gone wrong??? Thankfully, Superbuy reached out and they arrived at the warehouse safe and sound! :D They'll be here in a couple weeks, according to the shipping I got, and the package will also include a Kohaku orb plush to go with the Madara one I have. Very excited for all these things~~~

and then the tariffs will murder me when the next set of nui preorders arrive sobs

ALSO!!!!!!! Liz managed to get the VPN + foreign purchasing working for the newest enstars stage play, so tonight we're gonna watch Desperate Checkmate :D The streaming service for this one was way trickier to deal with than the one the last Dramatica used, and tbh I wish they were all as simple as the one the MDZS stage play used XD

Today was....better than yesterday in some ways, because I actually managed to get out of bed before noon. Yaaaaaay! My whole body has been complaining about everything I fucking do these days, and it's really been knocking me out ;w; But I'm trying to get up and moving more in hopes that it'll help.

I did some grinding in the JP event but tbh I don't think I have it in me to get Hokuto....I'm supposed to be playing for fun and I don't wanna burn myself out on a game I really like D: Which is kinda disappointing but also like, it is what it is you know?

Highlight of the day: taking the boys to Pizza Hut (to make up for the slight of taking them to Little Caesars, aka not the pizza chain that Double Face had a collab with)


yes, the sign stuck out from the wall just enough to prop some nuis in~


they had a "ranch tasting flight" and I couldn't resist!!! tbh it was pretty good, even if the pepperoni "ranch" barely qualifies as a ranch; it tastes like straight up liquid pepperoni somehow?????
Other than that, I think I'm gonna be able to get Kohaku to 75k fans today in CN, which means I'll be able to take him on the BIGGEST UPPY in LIMIT BREAK DREAMERS!!!!!!! I've wanted to be able to do this since it hit JP last year, but grinding for fans is haaaaard. Or, no, it's not hard, it's just very time consuming. There's no real way to rush it. But I'm almost there!!!!! Madara isn't very far behind, so I'm just very excited *w* I thought I'd have to wait the many years it would take for it to hit ENG.....

Oh! The shopping center with the Pizza Hut is one of those ones where Everything Must Be The Same Color, and that color is dark green. Okay, whatever, I don't design shopping centers, but I do find it neat when I see one where even big chains have to fit the mold. And this one had a Wendy's- key word, had. When we went to leave, I noticed that it had been painted gray and all the windows were covered/painted over?????? Which is just a shame; I love seeing uniquely colored fast food chains. Even if it was just the outside, it made it ~different~ and now I'm sad it's gone D:

Also it was one of the closest Wendy's, so fuck me I guess XD I hope they put something fun where it was, or at least another fast food chain I like!!!

and I made myself sad all day listening to the Crisis Core soundtrack sobs it's just so good ;w;

uhhhhhhhhhhhh my brain is mush because I've been in the enstars mines all day (playing the jp tour) but I have many thoughts about the whole two (2) chapters of story I read XD I usually read the whole thing at once, but I couldn't help but jump ahead to the bit that's Crazy:B + Madara because...okay, because I'm a simple man, I'm always hoping for kohamada crumbs.


the boys were also here for Kohaku + Madara interactions, clearly
AND IT FUCKING DELIVERED!!!!!!! Yeah, it was only two chapters, but they had a ton of back and forth, cute snarky bits, etc etc etc ;w; Rinne now has a nickname for Madara - Mikeneko-chan - and it's so fucking cute!!! I'm so glad someone finally called him a calico cat in text, it's important to me *w* And then Niki said that Kohaku and Madara looked like cats together, which was so fucking precious. Like. Yes, please compare my faves to kitty cats, my day is made.

ALSO!!!!!!! Rinne told Madara that he has to prove his worth before he can have Kohaku back - which for the record isn't even why Madara was there, he just showed up and that was the first thing Rinne said to him XD - and it very much had the vibe of "you broke my friend's heart and I'm not gonna let you do it again" so like. VERY GOOD SHIP CRUMBS FOR MEEEEEEEE. This was followed by Kohaku being like "I can do whatever I want" which, again, gay????? SO GOOD.

HiMERU very clearly did not like that Madara was there and wanted him to leave. Which make sense with how dismissive he was of Double Face during Ephemeral Festival, but I like that Rinne was not and instead acknowledged that Madara is an important part of Kohaku's life...he's just a shit who needs to make up for wronging Kohaku.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaay ♥

And another thing!!!!! It opened with Madara pondering on Nice Arneb Thunder and thinking that him + everything regarding 4piece and his quick acceptance into ES is really sketchy. Which is 1) accurate and 2) hahahaaa I fucking called it, I just knew Madara wouldn't trust this dude!!!!!!!! I said this during the first 4piece tour last year and tbh Madara is one of (the only????) character who hasn't been immediately taken in by Nice's cult of personality charisma. Kohaku also seemed concerned about him after Madara showed up to question Rinne about his past, so like......there's still time for my crack theory to win!!!!! Double Face could still take Nice Arneb Thunder out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry not sorry I'm just having a nice time uwu


I ground through the tour quite quickly so I could get Madara's 4* ♥
Honestly, the tour setlist has been really solid so far!!! I just finished up stop 10 and it's been less than 24 hours, which is a lot faster than I've played any recent tours tbh. idk I'm just having a nice time? It's nice to enjoy things ;w;

I mean also Madara is in the event so there's a lot of MaM and Double Face songs, so I am delighted by that ;D

( more enstars-related screencaps in here )

Oh, right. I do have one complaint about the event. Two complaints, I guess? But they're related, so I'll complain about them together. There's no event song and no MV outfits ;w; I know that tours don't usually have either of those, but the year end tours usually do. I guess because it's the prologue to the next chunk of main story it doesn't? BUT I'M STILL FUSSY.

Just another reason to be mad at Nice Arneb Thunder XD

Liz thinks that the outfits are gonna be the 10th anniversary MV outfits that everyone gets, which, like...okay. That's nice and all, but I wanted year end tour outfits ;w;

AT LEAST I HAVE ALTERED AND MY FOUR COPIES OF TSUMUGI


and here's a Lumos for sticking around for this whole longass post!

tl;dr I've been sick aaaaalllllllllllllll fuckin week and I'm only just now starting to feel moderately better. I don't even feel "good" just...slightly less shitty D:

bluh bluh bluh

Good news: I got far enough in the jp event to get the ABANDONED BUILDING BACKGROUND, so I put Double Face there!


they look they're investigating a murder- perhaps one they caused! :D
Bad news: I do not like how the Switch event story went. The first half was like...solid, had potential, kinda felt like it was going in a direction I liked? And then the second half did not. I haven't properly read the whole thing yet (due to being so sick), just gotten updates/summaries/reactions from someone in the enstars discord server I'm in who is a SwitchP/big time natsumugi shipper, so I guess he might be biased...but I am also those things, so I trust him.

ugh.

I know I should wait to form my own opinions until after I've read it myself, but I'm just...so disheartened? Maybe it's good Double Face isn't back together in canon...they can't fuck up their reunion if it never happens!

Uhhhhh.

I'm still not fully better; I'm very fuzzy headed and I keep losing my train of thought ;w; As long as I'm laying down I feel almost okay, and then I stand up and it's all over D: Liz and Pat both got sick but didn't have it nearly as long as I have!!!! It's not faaairrrrr.

whine whine whine whine whine bluhhhhhhhh

OH!!!!! But I did accomplish something today!!! I did the current challenge in retro_icontest - which is basically used the same two screencaps eight ways - and I'm incredibly proud of the results! I posted them @ killiansicons but just!!! I really pushed myself to not do the same crops/textures/etc I always use, and it paid off!

Other than that...mostly just been laying in bed sick. Fingers crossed tomorrow is better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've never done pink all over before, and now I have :D
I used the absolute last of the bleach in our house, every bit of dust of it, but I managed to lighten my roots enough to dye them much lighter ;D I'm pretty pleased with it!!! I still need to trim the ends and shape it some, buuuuuut now I'm fucking sick.

AGAIN.

groans.

Liz and Pat were sick earlier this week, so I shouldn't be too surprised, but still!!! My throat hurt yesterday and then today I woke up feeling like absolute ass, and it hasn't improved since then ;w; Liz did get me dinner from our favorite hole-in-the-wall Chinese place, with the hope that spicy food would fix me, but no dice ;w; I feel very loved ♥ But definitely still sick.

I'm trying to play the JP event because, Switch, but I haven't been able to focus at allllll today.


bonus pic of Lumos with the nuis ♥ I'm love her (and them!)

The play was so good!!! I love the theater!!!!!! I WISH WE COULD GO MORE OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sobs plays are good and I love them in general ;w;

But!!! The Importance of Being Earnest was gonna be queer no matter what, but this was a delightfully homosexual production :D All the costuming was spot on and just!!! I don't have enough smart words to describe it, but it was fun *w*

Also, we took the boys (because of course we did), so Double Face also got to have a nice date night!


and the theater is just soooooo pretty!!!!
HOLD ON FUCK WHATEVER ELSE I WAS GONNA SAY IN THIS ENTRY: SWITCH EVENT PREVIEW IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm gonna take a hard stance and start complaining immediately, because excuse me wtf Tsumugi got a fucking hair cut?????


LIKE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, SIR


AND it appears to be Natsume's fault- I don't care if Tsumugi asked him to do it, I'll fistfight him no matter what!!!!
sobs I was so excited...I mean I still am!!!!!! I'm just sad about Tsumugi and his hair and his promise to Natsume and.......and I thought maybe it would finally be longer AND INSTEAD THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm okay I'm okay lying

uhhhhhhhh okay. cool. lemme not end this by whining XD I've got a couple more pics from date night :D

( just click on through for more adorable bear nui content )

LOOK AT HIM I GOT HIM I GOT KOHAKUUUUUUUUU ♥
I spent a chunk of today getting perfect combos to grind out more dia in jp and it was all worth it because he came home ;w;

also his skill name is ママはぐタイム aka 'Mama hug time' plz don't play with my heart like this I will die if Madara is on the other side of the cross scout I'LL DIE I'll fucking die if their first dedicated story together post-DF disbandment is also with watching kids like????? WHAT'S THE MEANING THERE????

it means they're married and in love and gonna raise a family together I guess idk I'm delusional about them and I don't care

I love how it's not even guaranteed that Madara is in the cross scout/story and I'm already being insane...I'm just built different I guess XD But since February is such a short month, the scout preview is today, so we'll find out sooooooon~~~~


anyway of course I put them on my home screen together...I had to!!! they're in their most recent rate up 5* outfits ♥
Anyway, Liz and I have a date tonight!!! I got us tickets to a live recording of The Importance of Being Earnest, as performed by the National Theatre. I saw someone talking about it on instagram and Liz loves theater (I mean, I do too, but I didn't major in it in college), and then one of the few Baltimore showtimes happened to be at one of our fave local theaters :D LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT IN A COUPLE HOURS!!!!!! ♥♥♥

I'm still whining about pain, though I've tried to do light stretching the past couple of days...it's sorta helping, I guess? Also I spent most of yesterday curled up in the lovesac with my nuis, which probably helped too. It was very cozy and warm *w*


my ~work station~ aka the best spot in the house (it's on top of a heating vent)
And then todaaaaaay I went to Costco with Liz. It was a brief trip, but it got me out of the house! I'd been holed up since getting back from the con late late Saturday night. It's just been so cooooooold.

uhhh. what else.

Oh! I'm still picking away at my new tumblr layout, but I'm almost done now!!! I made some really good progress yesterday :D

Also, I got a perfect combo on Ruby Love in engstars...


honestly I'm just sad because saved auto-plays don't carry over after the event ends...so I'll miss you, saved perfect combo......
Other than that, I don't have much to say. I'm still achy and very cold, and I don't see that changing super quickly ;w; I'm gonna try to power through by working on shit in Photoshop - I took some nice pics of Liz + other cosplay friends at katsu!! - and trying to stay optimistic~

( and also sharing more pics from the past couple days~ )

FRIDAAAAAAAAY!!!! The day started with us booking it to registration so I could grab my badge before heading to the room for our panel- Anime Before Anime: Animation in Pre-WW2 Japan. Even though we got there 10 minutes early, there was already a huge line waiting to get in OwO This is the second time we've run it at katsu, and both times now it's gotten a really good reception :D

This year, I recorded Liz and Pat presenting it, so we now have a solid recording- or at least I hope so XD I haven't had a chance to review the footage yet, because you know, con weekend~

OH RIGHT. I didn't end up styling Ibara's wig on Thursday night, so I went in casual clothes + a fun wig so it'd be easier to get around and shop and such. Which was nice! It's always very cramped, especially artist's alley, so being more mobile made it slightly easier.

...only slightly, though, because it's still fucking Katsucon XD

We managed to hit artist alley before the infamous(?) "sewage" explosion!!! A pipe burst on Friday afternoon/evening and dumped gross dish water from the kitchens into artist alley, right on top of someone's booth D: I feel so bad for who it affected ;w; I really hope they're able to get some sort of compensation or something, since that fucking sucks!

Anyway...I usually try to do a full round of artist alley + dealers room before buying anything, but I couldn't resist the allure of Yu-Gi-Oh!


also the artist very kindly gave me badge ribbons for buying so much stuff XD I was just so fucking excited to see anyone selling ygo fanmerch *w*
And then the hell gauntlet: Dealers Room. It's soooooo big and katsu is so hit or miss for dealers, so it ends up being a lot of walking around to find a few gems. But that's cons babeeyyyyyy!!!! Honestly, one of the best parts wasn't even shopping: it was catching up with Tasty Peach! I've been buying their adorable plushies for so long, I've gotten to watch them go from a tiny booth in artist alley to a large presence in dealers room to seeing their stuff for sale in Hot Topic and other physical stores, which is so awesome. Apparently, they have stuff in fucking Epcot now!!!!!! I got to see pictures and it was just so wholesome to see how far they've come ;w;

BUUUUUUUT we only got about halfway through dealers room before we had to bitch out because we were exhausted. I ended up sitting in the lobby for awhile, watching the world go by, while Liz and Pat got our stuff out of our locker. Right before they got back, I saw a Kohaku cosplayer in the Spring Night outfit and let me tell you, the way I practically flew out of my seat to go say hi...

Since we had cosplay to finish - me and my wig styling adventures lmao - we went back to our hotel to get to work!!! If I never touch glue again.....

Also, we had snacks in our room, so we didn't have to pay out the ass for a meal in National Harbor XD

However!!! Some local-ish friends that Liz and I first met at Otakon were also staying in Alexandria, just in a different hotel, so we went over to hang out with them :D Liz was still in Nagisa at that point + they cosplay Hiyori and Jun, which meant that after gossiping for like two hours, I took a bunch of pictures of them. I'm looking forward to going through all the raws of those shots once I feel a little better~

By the time we got back to our hotel room, Pat was getting ready to get a Lyft back to the con for the raaaaaave~~~ Because I was still having a rough time with pain + wig styling to work on, Liz and I stayed behind and just kinda chilled while making glue wefts for Madara. It was sooooooooooo time consuming ;w; They look damn good, but I thought my fingers would be covered in UHU + PVA glue forever D:

After all the wefts for his braids were glued on, I realized two very important things:

1. the glue was gonna take awhile to dry before I could safely tug on the hair enough to braid it
2. we hadn't eaten any "real" food since the continental breakfast at around 9 am, and it was now after midnight

So, it was off to the 24 hour diner!!! There was one across the street from our hotel, which was very convenient after a long day. It's a local chain and we actually went to one of them after Anime USA back in October, and I remembered it being pretty damn good- and I was right! idk, maybe it's just me, but diner food always tastes best at 3 in the morning.


the boys went everywhere with me all weekend, including the high risk situation of taking pictures of them with food ♥
I somehow thought I'd be able to get back to the wig after eating, but it was like...4:30 am at that point???? So we passed the hell out, thus ending ~day 1~ of the con!

( but I doooooo have more pictures to share from it! )

aaaaaand that's a wrap on that! I'll get to the next day soon, hopefully, since I'm technically halfway done already!!!! I wanna complete the con reports~~~~~