I guess I'm starting all my posts with a self-own this week XD

Or I could finally beat FFVII: Remake but I got stuck at the final fucking motorcycle fight and even Liz hasn't been able to beat it so like. FUCK ME I GUESS!!!! I'm just bad at anything involving vehicles in games...

TAKE THAT YOU HORRIBLE PIECE OF SHIT YOU TOOK ME TWO FUCKING YEARS TO FINALLY CONQUER BUT I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway.

It was honestly right after I posted yesterday's entry that I was like "no, I can't let the stupid mechanics of this fucking fight win me, I can do it!!!" The Price of Freedom from the Crisis Core soundtrack is largely to blame/thank, since it's tragic and uplifting and, most importantly, full of determination, and that's how I beat the stupidest boss in all of Final Fantasy.

And I was right, it was the penultimate fucking fight in the game. Sephiroth was easy in comparison; I basically chewed through him and all the weird Whisper monsters before him. In general though, he was loads easier than his end of Rebirth fight, so maybe that was part of it? He was REALLY FUCKING HARD in Rebirth, so I went in expecting that and kicked his ass sooooo quickly, lmao.

But let's talk Remake vs Rebirth. I got Remake on release day back in 2020 and was so disappointed by the gameplay that I put it down within 24 hours and went back to Animal Crossing...which is particularly bad for Remake considering I'd never played an Animal Crossing game before and I'd been waiting for an HD remake of FFVII for nearly 15 years at that point. Basically since Advent Children came out, I'd been like OKAY BUT WHEN DO WE GET A FULL REMAKE OF THE OG GAME????? This was a frequent discussion during my years working at GameStop, both with coworkers and customers.

All that excitement, and it just fell so flat for me ;w; I know there are plenty of people who liked it, but it just didn't hit for me. I think the final insult was finding out that you don't get to leave Midgar in Remake, and like...come on. Getting through Midgar is the biggest slog of disc 1 imho, so the idea of an entire fucking game being set in it without the catharsis of leaving? Count me out.

I finally came back to it in 2023, in hopes that I'd enjoy it more now that I had basically no expectations, and I did! It didn't necessarily grip me the way the original had or how I'd initially hoped a remake would, but I got pretty invested. Looking back at my trophies on PSN, I got through the whole game in a little over two weeks...up until I got stuck on the fucking motorcycle fight.

However, I took about the same amount of time to beat Rebirth and enjoyed it much more thoroughly. Though maybe saying it was the same amount of time is misleading- I spent just over two weeks playing both Remake and Rebirth, but let's take a look at my playtime...


final saves of Remake (top) vs Rebirth (bottom)
I put 60 more hours into Rebirth and real talk, it didn't even feel like it. I just had so much fun running around and doing quests and exploring that I couldn't put the controller down. Every day was "wake up, turn on the ps5, play Rebirth, sleep" with the occasional snack break XD Save for the Corel region, which, between Costa del Sol and the Golden Saucer, was pretty much entirely minigames...so I got a little burnt out on them. Liz and I took turns on minigame hell to get through them all. I just feel like it could have been balanced better, since Golden Saucer has always been a lot of minigames, so adding a bunch of Costa del Sol is kinda poor planning. Especially after the Queen's Blood tournament on the cruise ship...

But this both is and isn't about the little things. I just had almost no interest in digging into all the side quests and optional fights and everything that wasn't the main thread of plot, because Remake wasn't fun for me. I didn't want to run around in the beautiful world they created - and not just because it was all fucking Midgar - and thus, I didn't do most extra things. Going through my inventory on the way into the final fight I was like "I'm gonna fucking die" because nothing had been worked on. My materia is basically leveled up from the amount I used it in battle to get to the end, but nothing was actually focused on. None of my weapons had their weapon proficiency skills mastered, and while I'll admit I didn't do all of them in Rebirth, I didn't just blaze through without trying.

And that's the thing!!! Final Fantasy games are meant to be long, both in the amount of time the story takes and in how much fighting gameplay there is. But while it was a bit more of a traditional turn-based JRPG grind in the OG (which I love, don't get me wrong), Rebirth manages to make "level grinding" a natural and fun part of gameplay. Remake doesn't quite get there, and the actual fighting feels more clunky (despite the two being VERY similar, I had more trouble controlling my characters when I jumped back into Remake right after beating Rebirth) to the point where it's not an "easy" grind the way I find the OG is. Because you can't zone out at all but also it's not fun. Why level grind more than the bare minimum?

This is coming from someone who one-shot the final bosses in Final Fantasy X and .hack//G.U. because the gameplay was legitimately so fucking fun I lost track of time doing it to the point that I was massively overleveled. I didn't quite hit that point in Rebirth (but I feel like I could on subsequent replays tbh), but I was still engaged in the battle system in a way that I never was in Remake. I'm gonna have to do some more digging - maybe when I'm not being thrown directly into the final fight lmao - to figure out exactly why the two feel so different to me, despite being largely the same controls.

I really do think they took feedback they got from Remake and integrated those changes into Rebirth. They're clearly both made with love, but Rebirth just takes it to another level. It's the beautiful, streamlined version that Remake wanted to be but couldn't quite reach. Rebirth honestly feels like the HD remake of my teenage dreams, except it's even more than I could have imagined. And that's because of something that Rebirth does that other games have failed at:

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth feels like a PS5 game. I've never played a game that so fully uses the capabilities of the system, even if that came at the cost of having to install an entire fucking disc worth of data to the PS5 before I could pop in the main one and play the fucking game. But, and I can't believe I'm saying this, it was worth it. Rebirth basically doesn't have pre-rendered cutscenes. Once you get out of the opening, you are the cutscene. Whatever equipment your party has is visible within it- no more defaulting back to the initial weapons for "fancier" cutscenes, even the ending ones. When a cutscene ends, the camera pans behind Cloud (or whoever you're controlling at that point), the onscreen menus come back, and you can walk forward. All without no drop in quality!!!!

THIS IS FUCKING VIDEO GAME WIZARDRY!!!! I don't think that "better graphics = better game" but Rebirth uses its graphical capabilities to further immerse the player in the world. It doesn't feel like they've made things look more real just to look nice; it's all done with such purpose that I can't help but see it as a huge plus. It's not that I couldn't dream big as a teenager- this was just unheard of. Rebirth is like walking through a beautiful cutscene, but it's the whole game!!!!

Remake does look beautiful as well, don't get me wrong, but it's like...it looks like Good Video Game Graphics. Rebirth crossed the uncanny valley and now everything is so effortlessly well-rendered, it's no longer distracting. There were parts of Rebirth that Liz, Pat, or I would point out as being particularly gorgeous, but that's more like... "oh this looks really good, holy shit!!!" not......something that looks really good but still a little bit noticeably uncanny.

It's so cool. It's truly immersive and fun and god, I could pick it up right now even though I'm hungry and really need to eat something. Rebirth makes me be like "okay, no this was worth using a system as powerful as the ps5, and it's using it well" which makes my grouchy ass upset but ALSO: worth it.

....okay but no everyone got home from work and I have to take my ps2 to the retro game store for repairs, so I'll end this here. I cannot wait for the next (final?) part, and I have high hopes that they'll actually do it the justice it deserves.

Also like. FFVII is overhyped but also worth it. If you've somehow made it to 2025 without at least playing a little, plz pick it up!!! The OG is on basically every digital platform (I know it's on Switch and PSN for sure) + Remake is on the PS4/PS5/probably some others? and Rebirth is on PS5/PC. It's relatively accessible nowadays!!!!!! PLEASE I LOVE THE IT ♥

uhhhhhhhhhhhh my brain is mush because I've been in the enstars mines all day (playing the jp tour) but I have many thoughts about the whole two (2) chapters of story I read XD I usually read the whole thing at once, but I couldn't help but jump ahead to the bit that's Crazy:B + Madara because...okay, because I'm a simple man, I'm always hoping for kohamada crumbs.


the boys were also here for Kohaku + Madara interactions, clearly
AND IT FUCKING DELIVERED!!!!!!! Yeah, it was only two chapters, but they had a ton of back and forth, cute snarky bits, etc etc etc ;w; Rinne now has a nickname for Madara - Mikeneko-chan - and it's so fucking cute!!! I'm so glad someone finally called him a calico cat in text, it's important to me *w* And then Niki said that Kohaku and Madara looked like cats together, which was so fucking precious. Like. Yes, please compare my faves to kitty cats, my day is made.

ALSO!!!!!!! Rinne told Madara that he has to prove his worth before he can have Kohaku back - which for the record isn't even why Madara was there, he just showed up and that was the first thing Rinne said to him XD - and it very much had the vibe of "you broke my friend's heart and I'm not gonna let you do it again" so like. VERY GOOD SHIP CRUMBS FOR MEEEEEEEE. This was followed by Kohaku being like "I can do whatever I want" which, again, gay????? SO GOOD.

HiMERU very clearly did not like that Madara was there and wanted him to leave. Which make sense with how dismissive he was of Double Face during Ephemeral Festival, but I like that Rinne was not and instead acknowledged that Madara is an important part of Kohaku's life...he's just a shit who needs to make up for wronging Kohaku.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaay ♥

And another thing!!!!! It opened with Madara pondering on Nice Arneb Thunder and thinking that him + everything regarding 4piece and his quick acceptance into ES is really sketchy. Which is 1) accurate and 2) hahahaaa I fucking called it, I just knew Madara wouldn't trust this dude!!!!!!!! I said this during the first 4piece tour last year and tbh Madara is one of (the only????) character who hasn't been immediately taken in by Nice's cult of personality charisma. Kohaku also seemed concerned about him after Madara showed up to question Rinne about his past, so like......there's still time for my crack theory to win!!!!! Double Face could still take Nice Arneb Thunder out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry not sorry I'm just having a nice time uwu


I ground through the tour quite quickly so I could get Madara's 4* ♥
Honestly, the tour setlist has been really solid so far!!! I just finished up stop 10 and it's been less than 24 hours, which is a lot faster than I've played any recent tours tbh. idk I'm just having a nice time? It's nice to enjoy things ;w;

I mean also Madara is in the event so there's a lot of MaM and Double Face songs, so I am delighted by that ;D

( more enstars-related screencaps in here )

Oh, right. I do have one complaint about the event. Two complaints, I guess? But they're related, so I'll complain about them together. There's no event song and no MV outfits ;w; I know that tours don't usually have either of those, but the year end tours usually do. I guess because it's the prologue to the next chunk of main story it doesn't? BUT I'M STILL FUSSY.

Just another reason to be mad at Nice Arneb Thunder XD

Liz thinks that the outfits are gonna be the 10th anniversary MV outfits that everyone gets, which, like...okay. That's nice and all, but I wanted year end tour outfits ;w;

AT LEAST I HAVE ALTERED AND MY FOUR COPIES OF TSUMUGI


and here's a Lumos for sticking around for this whole longass post!

Shinobu get!!!!!!


I now have the complete set of edgy shotas!!!! :D

also hello hello, I once again got very little sleep so I'm doing great. I'm not usually awake at this hour, unless I didn't really sleep ;w;

yaaaaawn

idk what's up with my sleep schedule but this means I was awake early enough to see Pat's cats being cute!!!


Dennis came to inspect the gate (before eventually running away because I wasn't his dad)

( a couple more cat pics under here! )

Anyway, I'm either gonna nap or do chores...we'll see. Probably nap XD

OR I'll record more MVs in enstars to make icons from...idk exactly what I wanna do yet tho :T But I just know there are some I've been meaning to do, and I can't remember.

ALSO ALSO, HALLOWEEN RENDEZVOUS STARTS IN CHINA TONIGHT I'M SO PUMPED FOR MY JACKASS SLUTTY WEREWOLF TO BE A DICK ALL OVER AGAIN ;D

I was up until 5 in the fucking morning grinding out the last of the jp enstars event....and then woke up at, uh, 8:45 am. So. I'm sleep deprived but jazzed about idol boys? Which is, I think, my natural state these days XD

(Liz is working from home and I'm sitting across from them and I get to see them being so cute in their meeting it's precious)

ANYWAY. Let's do this in some sort of order...

I didn't end up going super hard in Puffy☆Bunny, probably due to me blowing all my fucking dia on Kohaku (worth it!!!!!), but I did get at least one copy of everyone. So now they can all be Easter-themed jackasses XD However, since I wasn't constantly grinding, I decided to reread the first ever enstars story I read: Black Snow (because I started playing in the middle of La Mort, and I'm still sad I didn't manage to get Ritsu).

Because it was the first thing going on when I started, I developed a fondness for basically everyone in La Mort...despite knowing next to nothing of what was going on. Now that it's been a few months and I've read...a lot.......I wanted to see if my first impressions were accurate~



KOHAKU IS A GOOD BOY WHO CARES ABOUT ALL UNITS HE'S IN, EVEN TEMPORARY

( not me screencapping a chunk of this story just to point at and say 'lookit them they're great' )

Okay, so now that all that's out of my system, I am also VERY EXCITED for Obbligato to start in engstars this weekend!!!!!!!!! It's starting in the middle of our road trip to Chicago, so I'm planning on reading it to the whole car- because everyone wants to hear an angsty anime audiobook, right? XD Liz does better character voices than me, but they also do most of the driving usually, sooooooo I'll have to do my best to capture everyone's tragic backstories OwO

I also redid my office in jp

There's still more I wanna get for it, but a lot of it is in the daily rotation category, so I have to wait :T I'm also sorely tempted to spend some of my precious memorial coins on the office outfits from fleeting spring night...
uhhhhhhhhh there was more but I've now rambled so much that I can't remember all of it :T

doo doo doo I'm bored.

There are a billion things I could be doing right now.

But I'm still bored. I kind of want to take a midnight walk but am lazy...

...screw that, I'm going anyway.

And why the hell do I update this thing when nothing is happening? jeezus fuck. I'm like the weirdest update pattern person ever.

I think I shall take my camera, see if I can get any night shots. Or be eaten by mosquitoes. god bitches of the summer, I hate them.

OKAY. time to go...

My laptop screen is breaking; it keeps flashing black and has been for the past few weeks. I think I'm slowly developing the worst headache of my life.

REALLY going now.

WHAT.

( spoilers for 349 )

I'm completely not making sense tonight like...at all, I give up. Time to pack and go to bed. When my fangirling rambles make significantly less sense than normal, it's bed time.

I've been doing that thing where I make icons. That's why I tried to do last night but whoa, I was way too distracted.

I WAS SO TIRED THIS MORNING OH GOD. I need to get more sleep. I kept dozing off in psychology and I love psych, so I was obviously just dead.

My hair still looks amazing, though :3

Music was canceled today, best thing ever zomg. I was done with classes at 11:20. WHOOT. I still have a violin lesson at 3 but that's like...a cat. Not a real class.

It was still warm today, but unfortunately it's super windy. And it's a cold wind D: Screw you wind >_>

The KH DSi bundle comes out May 30th and is going to be ~$250, so I'm going to start saving the second I go back to work in May. I need a DS and I will be sad forever if I don't get this. It's going to be so spiff :3 And I will have the Japanese version of 358/2 Days.

...it will probably end up being like Re:CoM all over again, in which I get halfway through and just stare at the pretty gay men. OH GOD, THIS GAME IS GOING TO BE SO GAY. I keep saying they should just package it in rainbows or some shit like that, it would make more sense.

Cait & I made ourselves dinner tonight! It was super exciting :3

So, back story. Cait got back from Megacon on Sunday night and has been craving ramune soda since then. There was a snow day on Monday!!! during which we just sat around and playing KH2. I'm replaying it so Cait can get all the storyline. I've made a KH fangirl out of her :3

Also, we did a photoshoot out in the snow. She's Sakura from Naruto, but as if she were in the Akatsuki. She ran around in the snow while I froze my fingers off taking pictures. Also I know nothing about Naruto, so like the whole thing makes no sense to me...I'm reading it soon though, I just get distracted easily...

SO!! Today after class, we took the zipcar out to hunt down Japanese food. The first Asian food store we went to was in the ghetto and was SUPER epic. It was literally a warehouse. It just had a slab of wood as the door, the inside had no heat, barely any light, and just had huge amounts of rice, Japanese food, and chairs for sale. wtf at the chairs. But yeah, it was AMAZING. Super ghetto too, which reminds me of home...I feel like I'm living in such a fancy neighborhood these days XD

ANYWAY. Since they didn't have the soda, we went to the next place. We pulled into a Panera parking lot to borrow their wireless so we could Google maps the directions. When we got there, it turned out that they were closed on Tuesdays.

Instead of hunting down more free wireless, we went to CVS and bought a map of Baltimore. FINALLY. So we used the map to get to another Asian food store. We drove past the street once because it was named something different, which made me laugh. ALL of Pittsburgh is like that...or there are just no street names listed ANYWHERE. It's great.

This place was AWESOME. We ended up buying dumplings, a BUNCH of snack foods (oh shrimp chips, you are super delicious!!), chow mein noodles, soy sauce, a teriyaki marinade, tons of ramune soda, and other miscellaneous things. Then we stopped at Super Fresh to buy chicken, vegetables, and vegetable oil to fry things in.

Dinner went...interestingly. I cooked everything because Cait is a cooking hazard. The chicken was delicious, if I do say so myself. The first round of dumplings sort of fell apart, but the other ones worked fine.

The chow mein noodles...not so much. They would NOT fry D: They just turned into a gooey mass >_< So we ended up tossing them after I tried in vain to save them. Ah well. Everything else was really tasty though!!! :D Cleaning up was a bitch, but it was totally worth it.

( cut for KH ramblings... )

FINISHED SORA'S SIDE. oh snap. Now for a recap~

( cut for holy crap length )

So apparently when I'm sick, I play video games because I can't focus on anything else. okays then.

I think if Repliku gets any gayer, he might just turn into Axel. SERIOUSLY. It's like SORA YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO WORM YOUR WAY INTO MY HEART BY SEXING ME UP AND THEN NONE OF IT MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU, YOU'RE ALWAYS LEAVING ME FOR THEM GIRLS, I DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAAND BAWWWWWW D:

And of course we have more Disney couples counseling, which apparently consists of Jiminy consoling Sora. He was like IT'S OKAY SORA, RIKU PROBABLY IS JUST PUSHING YOU AWAY TO SAVE YOU FROM THE DANGERS OF THE CASTLE, HE STILL LOVES YOU!!!

Also, Captain Hook is either the biggest wimp in the world or I am way over leveled...but seriously. I forgot to switch to my boss battle deck before fighting him. So, I had no zero cards and only one healing card. I was like fuck it, I guess I'll just fight until he kills me. I accidentally used up my healing card in a combo so I was stuck without healing and very few ways to break his combos.

I beat him in under a minute.

Seriously, guys, that was so ridiculous. And I'm sure Hollow Bastion will be okay, I beat it in Japanese already and it was like...not too bad. It's the Vexen battle that I get stuck on, which is where I am STILL stuck in Japanese >_>

ALSO WTF, MARLUXIA. Did I hear wrong, or did Vexen call him Marlusha? Like...what. That is not how I pronounce his name at all. On that note, Marluxia is such a creeper. I always forget how creepy he is and then he LOOMS all over Namine XD

Now, onto Hollow Bastion! I'm trying to get through Sora's side because dude, I want to play with Riku on my PS2...I have beaten CoM before, but only the GBA version. Yes, I paid tons of money for the Japanese version. Yes, I've had it for nearly two years now. No, I haven't beaten it yet. And yes, yes I do feel like an idiot...