WELP I promised Tsukasa that I would treat him better if he came home nicely, and he did!!! And since I'm a man of my word, I sped through the engstars tour so I could get enough memorial coins for baby boy~


goodbye memorial coins.....


SMOL!!!!!! idiot baby boy covering ants in paint, because that's a good idea XD
He's so small!!!! He was one of the only Tsukasa cards I was missing in engstars, plus he matches with a Kohaku card, soooooo here we are! I guess I just collect Tsukasa cards now!!!! XD

I'm still feeling crummy overall tho. Liz and Pat went out and got lunch meat, spinach, and bread so we could have sandwiches for dinner, because that sounded simple enough that I could handle eating it. I now feel...like I've eaten, but not necessarily better by any means. At least I was able to stomach it :T BUT STILL.

ugghhhh

This is now two events in a row that I feel...idk, sicky??? Like, crappy to the point that it's affecting my ability to play enstars, which I would say is a pretty low stakes thing to do. I'm spending most of my time curled up on the couch or in bed, but I can't stay focused long enough to play more than a song or a two at a time. IT FUCKING SUCKS!!!!

At least I have smol cousins on my engstars homescreen?


babies!!!!!
Now that I have them on every server I play on, I think I need to switch it up XD Maybe I'll put Natsume + one of the other eccentrics on my CN homescreen to tempt him home? idk we'll see~

I'm gonna see if I can make myself some sorta...smoothie? Beverage thing?????? I wanna have something sweet and/or fruity, but I don't know if we have frozen fruits anymore...

tl;dr I've been sick aaaaalllllllllllllll fuckin week and I'm only just now starting to feel moderately better. I don't even feel "good" just...slightly less shitty D:

bluh bluh bluh

Good news: I got far enough in the jp event to get the ABANDONED BUILDING BACKGROUND, so I put Double Face there!


they look they're investigating a murder- perhaps one they caused! :D
Bad news: I do not like how the Switch event story went. The first half was like...solid, had potential, kinda felt like it was going in a direction I liked? And then the second half did not. I haven't properly read the whole thing yet (due to being so sick), just gotten updates/summaries/reactions from someone in the enstars discord server I'm in who is a SwitchP/big time natsumugi shipper, so I guess he might be biased...but I am also those things, so I trust him.

ugh.

I know I should wait to form my own opinions until after I've read it myself, but I'm just...so disheartened? Maybe it's good Double Face isn't back together in canon...they can't fuck up their reunion if it never happens!

Uhhhhh.

I'm still not fully better; I'm very fuzzy headed and I keep losing my train of thought ;w; As long as I'm laying down I feel almost okay, and then I stand up and it's all over D: Liz and Pat both got sick but didn't have it nearly as long as I have!!!! It's not faaairrrrr.

whine whine whine whine whine bluhhhhhhhh

OH!!!!! But I did accomplish something today!!! I did the current challenge in retro_icontest - which is basically used the same two screencaps eight ways - and I'm incredibly proud of the results! I posted them @ killiansicons but just!!! I really pushed myself to not do the same crops/textures/etc I always use, and it paid off!

Other than that...mostly just been laying in bed sick. Fingers crossed tomorrow is better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I last minute entered an icon contest (over at your_favourites) because...idk, I saw it on my friends page and felt inspired???? I managed to make 4 new Kohaku icons in between playing various enstars events ;D

......right after I finally made a new icon post @ killiansicons like 3 days ago XD

Also, I made an icon of my nuis because I'm worth it- and they're so fucking cute *w* I take them everywhere with me these days and I love them and it makes me so happy.

What doesn't make me happy: how fucking much my nose hurts from this god damn cold. I'm stuffed up and dripping mucus at the same time!!!! I'm exhausted but I STILLLLLL don't know if I'll be able to sleep, even though it's 2 in the fuckin morning!!!!!!!!

lays on the floor

plz just let death take me

Okay, okay, back to the grind (CN server's "we're sorry ur not gettin the pjsk collab" tour) ♥

Today, we made another pilgrimage to our Joanns ;w; I'm very attached to this particular Joanns, because it's the one I went to in college (the first time, so the late 00s) and then I lived basically across the street from it when I first moved back to Baltimore in 2016. It is THE Joanns for both times I've lived in this city, so it's the one that's hitting me hardest.

....to be fair, I haven't been up to Pittsburgh to visit the Monroeville Joanns, aka where I got my start with sewing & cosplay, because I'm just not ready yet. I'm gonna see if we can make a short trip up to say goodbye to it before it closes...but it's so hard to think about ;w;

ANYWAY. In an attempt to fight my depression over the bankruptcy, I had Liz take a couple fun pics of me in the fabric section of the Joanns. I wanna remember all the joy it brought me over the years ♥


also featuring my incredibly good Pusheen cape~
We'd gone with purpose, tho- Liz and I wanna make Kohaku and Madara's first feature scout outfits to wear to DC's Sakura Matsuri this year, and what better time to pick up fabric than during....the closing........sobs ;w;

I'M TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER I'm still very sick so it's hitting me so hard ;w; I want to enjoy working on cosplay and shit, I just...sobs.


the boys with the fabric we got today!!!
We managed to get navy fabric for Madara's pants, the green for his top, the gold for....all his bullshit gold bits, and the light pink for Kohaku's top. We're gonna have to wrangle the embroidery machine for Madara, but I'm honestly pretty excited to figure it out :D

And then we had a time getting Taco Bell for dinner...the one right near the Joanns was randomly closed for the weekend???? And then the next closest one wouldn't let us place an online order...because???????? So we had to loop around and go to yet a different one, which I will always remember for the time they forgot to include the crunch part of my crunchwrap in 2011 XD

I got crunchwrap sliders today and they did include the crunch~ Literally it only happened that one time, but I can't get it out of my mind XD WHATEVER it was tasty!!!!

I've been curled up on the couch since we got home, because I do not feel good. Even with taking more DayQuil, I am not...doing well.....which is frustrating, because I have shit to do! I'm waaaaaay behind on the Switch event- not so much that I can't catch up, but I was hoping to be further than this already.

Also, I barely slept last night, because I was so exhausted and sick that I couldn't fall asleep. I ended up doing quick editing on some selfies from katsu~~~

( click click so I don't destroy everyone's friend pages~ )

Okay....still not feeling great, but I'm gonna make an attempt at playing the JP event some... If it goes badly, y'all can find me...idk, working on sewing my nuis clothes instead? Maybe if I use a tiny, incredibly hot tool (smol iron), I'll feel better XD

I've never done pink all over before, and now I have :D
I used the absolute last of the bleach in our house, every bit of dust of it, but I managed to lighten my roots enough to dye them much lighter ;D I'm pretty pleased with it!!! I still need to trim the ends and shape it some, buuuuuut now I'm fucking sick.

AGAIN.

groans.

Liz and Pat were sick earlier this week, so I shouldn't be too surprised, but still!!! My throat hurt yesterday and then today I woke up feeling like absolute ass, and it hasn't improved since then ;w; Liz did get me dinner from our favorite hole-in-the-wall Chinese place, with the hope that spicy food would fix me, but no dice ;w; I feel very loved ♥ But definitely still sick.

I'm trying to play the JP event because, Switch, but I haven't been able to focus at allllll today.


bonus pic of Lumos with the nuis ♥ I'm love her (and them!)

soooooo after dealing with various issues with my laptop - namely the trackpad dying and both the USB ports rapidly failing - I replaced it. I'm really upset because I actually invested in a really good laptop for once, something I hadn't been able to do before, and I feel like it just blew up in my face. I got less time from it than my past two, so like.....go fuck myself I guess?????

Anyway!!!! First thing I did was "downgrade" to Windows 10, because I am not dealing with all the bullshit of 11. I'll stubbornly use 10 for as long as possible (much like how I only upgrade my desktop from 7 to 10 a few months ago), and they'll pry it from my cold, dead hands XD I'm also very excited to have a touch screen again, which is one of the things I sacrificed for a "better" machine last time. NEVER AGAIN.

Today is gonna be a lot of transferring data and installing software, which I feel like I just fucking did when I rebuilt my desktop recently, but whatever. Worth it for the upgrade. It's also nice to have a bigger hard drive in this thing~~ And since it's a slightly bigger laptop, the keyboard is already more comfortable :D

ALSO!!!!!!!!! We got a 3D printer!!!!!!!!!! arahith and I should never be trusted in Micro Center alone, because we always end up spending way too much.............BUT IT'S EXCITING. We've wanted a 3D printer for awhile and there was a decent sale and we were already spending a lot of money...totally worth it XD The first test print is going right now and I can't wait to see it!!!!!!!!!!

I'm still fairly sick btw, but finally well enough to leave the house for brief periods. FINGERS CROSSED it all clears up before classes start next week ;w; I am not looking forward to starting the semester sick.

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I HAVE SPENT THE COUPLE MONTHS SICK BASICALLY NONSTOP.

Like, as soon as I recover enough to start living my life again, BAM!! Get fucked, dipshit!!!!!!! I was sick with some sort of horrific bacterial infection over Thanksgiving for about two weeks, I recovered just in time for finals, and then got COVID over Christmas & New Years. I felt mostly better by my birthday (though not 100%, by any means, but like....better-ish) AND NOW, GUESS WHAT!!!

FUCKING SICK AGAIN.

I spent nearly 4 hours in the emergency room last night, because I was having severe trouble breathing + chest pains, and those are the sorts of things that they're like "oh shit, you gotta seek medical attention NOW" sooooo I did. And it was a huge waste of my time, besides the IV of fluids I got because I was severely dehydrated. I keep having massive coughing fits any time I swallow anything at all, including water, so while I usually drink 100+ oz of water daily, I hadn't been able to.

BUT BESIDES THAT??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. I should have just gone to the urgent care I usually go to; it would have at least taken less time for basically the same results!!!!! The ER staff kept trying to give me meds that interact with my mental health meds, and then seemed lost and and confused when I actually knew and cared about drug interactions. Like, yes, sorry, I can't take NSAIDs and would prefer if you didn't give me them??????????????

Don't worry though!!! They REALLY wanted to push the ~magic mouthwash~ instead of anything else, which is legit just a numbing mouthwash that is supposed to make it easier for me to swallow but in actuality did basically nothing at all. I dunno what kinda kickbacks they're getting for pushing it, but goddddd I was so tired of hearing everyone call it that by the end.

Anyway. Liz took me to Taco Bell afterwards, despite the snow causing the first one we tried to close early, and that healed me....or at least I was able to eat for the first time in 24 hours, which helped a lot.

It's the first proper snow we've had in like two years, and instead of being able to frolic in it, I'm just sick ;w; I'm so upset!!!! I'd been having fun with threesentenceficathon too, but now my brain is mush from being sick. Can I catch a fucking break please????????

Happy June. I'm still vaguely sick, but it's mostly just my voice sounding funky and some mild congestion. THANKFULLY. This has gone on too long.

Too tired for a real entry, but something very cool: I got to see a tornado form at work tonight!! There was a huge storm in Pittsburgh tonight & one formed right over the shopping center I work in! Then it went over the hill to touch down somewhere else, thankfully. Very interesting though~

Sleep times.

*passes out*

I'm sick.

It's some sort of terrible death thing in my throat. I can't breathe or swallow and life hurts

ughhhhhh.

I had a very wonderful day on Sunday, but I'm too miserable to go on about it. Right now I'm drowning my sorrows and misery in Photoshop, my lover ♥ I've gone icon making crazy.

Also suffering through work at Subway when I'm this sick makes me want to just curl up and die, fyi.

OH. And my laptop randomly uninstalled half the software I just installed. wtf. I spent a good hour trying to figure out everything it had randomly deleted >_

So, on top of the not falling asleep until about seven-thirty AM, then waking up at eleven...I have had other things happening D:

The canopy above my bed decided to pick today to fall down. I mean, it's only taped up because this is a dorm room, but seriously? Today? So it falls on my head. I then get up, grab some more tape and put it back up.

It falls down again D:

This time I have to cut all the tape off of it, make a whole new tape bit, and spend a good ten minutes putting that thing up there. It should be pretty sturdy now.

Also, when I stand? POUNDING HEADACHE. It still hasn't gone away, and that is no fun D:

OKAY SO I JUST WENT TO DINNER OH THAT SUCKED D: Apparently food doesn't agree with me anymore, so I feel like an even bigger world of suck. I just want to curl up and be all better....