ALTERED IS HERE!!!!!!!

And it started with my phone crashing in the middle of one of the event songs, because apparently it hadn't charged last night? So that sucked XD I managed to get another chance to play it, but it was very stressful and also it made me feel stupid.

After I managed to get that sorted out, we went out for some errands! I accidentally made me and Pat crave &pizza, so we got that for lunch :D And then went to Michaels, because I want to make cute bows to put on the Double Face nuis (thx to some cute ones I saw on twitter the other day).

However, Michaels ended up stressing me out because??? bad brain day?????? fussy they didn't have any active coupons??????????????????? idk I just got really overwhelmed ;w; I did end up getting some cute ribbons and shit, but it was an oddly harrowing experience.

BUT I DID TAKE SOME CUTE PICS OF THE NUIS WHILE WE WERE OUT!!!! Here's one~


saw this tree outside &pizza and I just had to put the boys in it~ they look so cute ;w;
And then I got home and continued to have bad brain times for no fucking reason??? I tried working on crafting but just got frustrated, so I tried working on icons and that also left me frustrated D: So I gave up on being "productive" and played a bunch of Crisis Core, and that helped :D

Also, it gave me something to do while my phone was running a billion autoplay loops of the engstars event XD

IN THE MIDST OF THAT THOUGH!!!! I FINALLY GOT NATSUME TO RANK A!!!! Because I managed to pull his rate up 5*, he's getting fans in basically every song, soooooo it helped push him the last little bit of the way to 75k ♥ So, he's almost forgiven for gacha crimes (betraying me during the Halloween MaM event in jp and cn).


sobs it's been such a long journey...cannot believe I have four different idols to rank A now...
Other than that...I've gotta log into jp and cn even once today...I've been neglecting them in favor of eng, because I've been looking forward to this event for over a year. Also my head hurts ;w;

Guess who drove down to DC to get a remaster of a video game? THIS GUY!!


it's nostalgia time babeeeyyyy
I'd been meaning to pick it up for years, but the price of a used copy finally dropped to something reasonable, soooooo~ TIME TO DRIVE TO THE ONLY GAMESTOP IN THE BALTIMORE/DC AREA WITH A COPY!!!! We got to the mall with approx. 15 minutes to get to the store before closing, which wouldn't be too hard if the mall wasn't so fucking massive. Seriously, there's both Costco and Target inside the fucking mall. It's too damn big.

BUT WE GOT IT!!! I'm delighted to have it on ps5 now - thus adding to my very small library of ps5 games, lmao - so that I can experience it again and show it to Liz and Pat. I played it when it first came out, so my memories of Crisis Core are hazy at best XD So it's exciting!!!!

.....except for, you know, the worst part of modern gaming:


WHY. CAN YOU NOT JUST LET ME PLAY MY FUCKING GAME???? WHAT MORE IS THERE TO INSTALL??????????
This game is over 21gb so it's taking forever to install for some god damn reason. I just want to keep beating up monsters!!!! sobs. It's still fucking working on it...hence why I'm making a dreamwidth post.

( mall pix + a throwback )

Anyway, this all started because I was making aeriseph icons for a challenge and so...they were on my mind ♥

OH MY GOD IT'S FINALLY DONE BYE BYE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S ABOUT TO BE THE 4 HOUR MAINTENANCE FOR THE JP EVENT!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Eden and I love the look of this event and I cannot wait for whatever deranged bullshit Ibara gets up to XD

Today we went to Lidl and I got overdone, which appears to be a Lidl theme these days???? I mean I'm also just only feeling so well...I went too hard on Friday and I've been feeling it all weekend ;w; We did get fancy cheese and bruschetta, so I had a dinner of crusty bread with stuff on it. It was very tasty!!!!

I've also made a bunch of icons this week!!! I participated in iconthat for the first time in like...two years........idk I keep forgetting to check out their challenges somehow? I wasn't even sure if I'd participate in this one, since it was about making icons focused on specific emotions and I didn't wanna do something that seemed complicated XD But I ended up doing it and coming up with some really nice stuff~

By the numbers, I've made more icons in the first three months of 2025 than I did in all of 2024, so I'm quite proud of that! Hopefully I can keep this momentum going :D

Also, I recorded a bunch of SPPs in enstars today, because the discord chat was talking about them and I have, uh, a lot of cards. AND the new Kanata 4* came with his SPP for Eccentric Party Night, which I had to see.

Watch on YouTube

but he's sooooooooooooo cute so it was very worth it ♥
also this video was a pain in the ass to embed because I tend to use my own hosting, but that doesn't work with DW whine whine whine

But yeah!! I'm excited for Eden and excited for using that MV for evil purposes OwO aka, icon making~

Hey, look, the event calendar in CN did a funny thing and Madara's stupid fucking spring time Halloween event is actually happening in spring XD


he's here he's here he's heeeeeeere I should be embarrassed by how excited I am but I'm not
I don't have a very good event bonus because I'm largely f2p in CN and I'm running low on sources of free dia + of fucking course Natsume didn't come home. again.

BITCH.

I love him he's just sooooo tsundere it hurts

I also ended doing chores earlier!!!!! I know I said I was probably gonna nap, but I cleaned the whole living room! :D I even took the rug out back and beat a bunch of dirt/dust/etc out of it, which was nice...the weather was cool but not too chilly today~ It's just really nice to look at the living room and see how much better it looks. Liz and Pat were suitably impressed when they got home, too.

.....I did take a nap in the afternoon tho, I'll admit it XD I did a bunch of cleaning and then sat down on the couch to rest my eyes, and it was all over. Lumos napped with me though, which was sweet ♥


demon Madara looks really fucking good in this MV honestly, so I kiiiiiinda feel like I should make icons of him in it OwO
Okay okay okay FOCUS UP I'm just still quite tired + my ADHD meds are on backorder so my focus is fucking shot. I just love this event a lot even if I was raging mad when it first happened in JP. I just love to hate Madara XD

We also went to Costco this evening, got some stuff we needed, had hot dogs in the food court - which has definitely become part of the Costco trip routine! - and then chilled for a bit before making a proper dinner. I helped nudge Pat into getting back into dreamwidth, since I've found its slow pace to be a breath of fresh air compared to most of social media. And now Liz is doing some more cleaning! We're finally taking the Christmas tree down, because of who we are as people.

Other than that...I have a bunch of comments sitting in my inbox that I wanna reply to, I've just been really out of it lately D: But I've gotten some really kind words on icons I've made recently, and I wanna express my gratitude ;w; Getting back into the graphics making scene has just been really lovely. Everyone is so welcoming ♥

yaaaaawn okay it's after 1 am...maybe I'll try to sleep at a decent hour (and actually succeed????? hopefully??????)

it's Pi day!!!!!!
Liz and I went to Wegmans after dinner and picked up an apple pie, since it's something we all like, and we had pie for pi day! :D I don't think I've properly celebrated it since high school, since my school always made a big deal out of it. I'm pretty sure I've had pie on 3/14 since then, back when I worked in bakeries, but it wasn't like a "big deal" or anything. So it was nice!!!

And now we have pie~ It's actually quite good, so I don't think it'll last through the weekend XD But it'll be good while it lasts!

Also, I just had some very good gacha luck in enstars today, so I'm gonna gush about that~

( click here for my various gacha wins )

Liz and I are about to watch the first episode of Yellowjackets, because we've both heard really good things about it and have multiple friends who really like it...and he have time to kill until the JP event starts XD But no, seriously, many friends have recommended this show, so I'm actually excited to check it out! I don't usually go for real people skin shows...fingers crossed it's worth it ;D

I still feel like crap. It's kinda like.......what, I got over being sick and got one, maybe two good days before I got knocked on my ass again???? That is decidedly unfair ;w;

And I just feel so whiny!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLUHHHHHHH.

I took an accidental nap in the middle of the afternoon :T Like, all I did today was lay on the couch and watch crap on YouTube, so what did I need a nap for? I guess because I'm in so much pain I'm not getting enough sleep??? idk.

At least I did something with my evening. Liz, Pat, and I went out to dinner at a Japanese place Pat found, and...they were unexpectedly swamped. We ended up waiting more than an hour for a table on a Thursday night. What???

It was really good, though!


the boys came along - because of course they did - and helped us with the karaage chicken :D
idk what else I wanted to talk about. I think I just wanted a break from making icons because I hate everything I make right now- probably because of how crummy I feel.

bluh bluh bluh.

Lemme share some good pictures of Lumos from the other night...maybe that will give me strength...

( black cats are so good )

Now, back to waiting for the enstars scout box to start...at 2 am...... :T

MY BIG BOY IS HERE!!!!!!


he's sooooo soft and squishy- very good for hugging ♥
I ended up picking a layout for killiansicons - I'm using a simple-ish one from made by tessisamess - but I have no idea what I actually wanna do with it...I was originally gonna try to do something besides enstars, but that's what I'm making the most icons of these days so???? idk. I was maybe thinking Kingdom Hearts?????? But also maybe Mayoi :T

tbh it's kind of a moot point right now because I'm still in paaaaaaain so like. I can't focus on anything ;w;

We did go grocery shopping last night at least, so I got more chocolate + easy meals and then almost threw up in the Lidl because I was in so much pain. This period is hitting a lot harder than usual D: I just wanna curl up in a ball and die until it's over...

ughgghhh

I also got some cute charms with the big Madara plush, but I forgot to take a proper pic of them...maybe I'll try redoing the kohamada ita bag later and include them...

LIZ AND I ARE SO FUCKING PUMPED WE KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE GOOD WE JUST KNEW IT AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


it's like edgy dark shotas the shuffle, how can I not like it????
Shinobu is the event 5*, thank fuck, however.....boyyyyyyy Tsukasa is the other 5* and I'm sooooooo mad about it!! I don't even like Tsukasa but now I'm about to throw all my dia into the gacha because 1) I want everyone from this fucking shuffle and 2) I have so many good cards of Tsukasa's so I see him constantly in jp...I'm always trying to get more outfits for him.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, okay, okay, I'm chill, I'm cool, I'm totally normal about this...

JK I'M NOT I LOVE SHUFFLES AND I LOVE DUMB EDGY SHIT THIS IS LIKE!!!! SO MANY THINGS I LOVE!!!!!! I'm also fucking stoked to see Yume in the shuffle, because this means the new kiddos will in fact be in future shuffles! SO GLAD THEY'RE GONNA BE INCLUDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


plz experience this full body group shot featuring: everyone in short shorts looking like edgy choir boys + oh god I'm so, so sorry Shinobu...how does he look so short surrounded by members of two different shota units???


+

also I think their "look" is kinda like combining Branco + La Mort...plz understand my vision *w*
So that was totally worth stay up until 2 am for!! There's a bunch of other welcome fest stuff happening - including a promo Shu card! - but tbh I'm most excited about the shuffle. I still think EVIL NUM+ is my favorite shuffle of this round, but it's really hard to top that.

Also I wanna know what kinda fuckin house party Tsukasa is throwing that needs edgy shotas. Like. wtf. I'm just curious XD

( as if this was all the squeeing my body had room for )

OH AND ANOTHER FUCKING THING (not enstars related sadly): my period started today and I've been having killer cramps all day. I haven't been able to do much but lay on the couch in pain, which is really getting in the way of my fanboying!!!!!! I finally dug out the TENS unit about an hour ago, and electrocuting my back + guts into submission fiiiiinally doing something to help ;w;

When Liz and Pat get home, we're going to get groceries and I personally am gonna buy a metric fuckton of chocolate. Maybe that will fix me...

Oh! And I've started sketching out some ideas for a new layout for killiansicons, but I haven't gotten very far due to the pain :T I'm hoping I'll feel well enough later? Tomorrow???? idk.

I feel so whinyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! D:

Happy 2/2, aka Akechi Euthanasia Day!!! I took my akeshu ita bag to Costco to celebrate~


some "youths" - late teens/early 20s maybe?? - recognized what it was and were suitably impressed :D
Anyway! The household went to Costco today + brought Elio along, since he needed to stock up on groceries after being in NYC and Japan for the past few weeks. We ended up at a different one than usual, because it was closer to his apartment, but that meant everything felt like it was in different places and I hate change so I was stressed out ;w; Also, I've been battling a terrible headache all week, which didn't help. Despite all that, it was quite successful :D

Less successful: wig styling........

I bulked out the wig head, which was a huge pain I only defeated thanks to Liz's assistance, and then...it didn't fit on the new wig head stand.

AGGGHHHHHHHHHH

My nicer wig head fits just fine, so I didn't think to check the styrofoam one I was using before I jumped into it. idk I wanted to try it out on a $3 wig head instead of something nicer, and I guess I'm paying for it???

Sooooo I tried to wrap the rod that the wig head goes onto in paper towels to make it thick enough (hehe, thick), and instead it just shredded the inside of the wig head.

'kay.

I'm just gonna bulk out the nicer wig head, but I couldn't do it last night....I was too dejected ;w;

bluh bluh I'm taking it extra hard + I'm more exhausted than usual + terrible headache, so either I'm having yet another mono flareup or I'm about to be on my period, and I don't like either of those options >:O

uhhhhhh I also could ramble about enstars and the valentines events and the current events in jp and eng but as previously mentioned: headache :c

I FINISHED WRITING THE TUTORIAL!!!!!!!!!!
As with many things regarding icons, it was a labor of love and that just took....a lot of time.........but I'm really proud of it!!!!!! Go check it out @ killiansicons- I mean, if you're into that sort of thing ;D

It's gonna snow tomorrow night, so the household went out today to get salt for the driveway and then completely forgot about the salt. We stopped for bubble tea, swung by my favorite Chinese restaurant to pick up more of their chili oil, and got a lot of other things at Target, but we sure didn't remember what we actually went out for XD

OOPS!!!

I'm still sorting through a lot of the resources I rediscovered, but that's gonna have to be a project for another day. I realized I'm procrastinating what I actually want to do, which is make more enstars icons. I really like the art from the current Valkyrie event in jp, and tbh I meant to make some icons from it the day the event was revealed...but didn't, because instead I made a mood theme and wrote a 2k word long tutorial :T

Procrastination station, aka ADHD life!! I dunno why it's so bad this week.

At least I've wrangled it into some fun projects? Here's hoping I manage to actually what I want next XD