Killian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
setsuntamew) wrote2025-08-27 10:32 am
setsuntamew) wrote2025-08-27 10:32 am
Entry tags:
- alex,
- cats,
- cats: ethyl,
- cats: lumos,
- con: miryokucon,
- con: otakon,
- cons,
- emmy,
- josh,
- liz,
- phones,
- pictures,
- wife
life comes at you fast
So it's been.....a rough couple of months. Going back to work wreaked havoc on my body and it's taken nearly two months to adjust to it. I'm doing better now + I love my job, but it really took it out of me D:
Also...
Lumos passed away last week. She'd been sick on and off over the past couple years (honestly, she was never quite the same after Ethyl passed), but in late July/early August it started getting a lot worse. Our vet was incredibly kind and helpful throughout the whole process, talking us through all the options and helping us decide which ones would actually be beneficial, but eventually there wasn't anything more we could do ;w;
So that's. Yeah. That's been really hard. I felt like I was finally getting into the swing of working and a routine and all that, and then this hit me like a ton of bricks.
We did give her a very good last day though: we all stayed home and sat on the floor so she could get to us (since she couldn't easily jump up on things by that point), watched dumb youtube videos with her (a favorite past time), listened to Knights music so she could hear Leo (aka her favorite person EVER), and just overall spent a relaxing day centered on her needs. Liz managed to get a hold of her previous owner + their roommates, so we did a video a call with one of them and he was so touched to be able to see her again and say goodbye. Which was hard on everyone, but overall really rewarding I think.
idk man. it's been hard. it's been...a lot. I'm still not done processing it and I don't know when I'll ever be????? I'm still processing Ethyl and it hasn't even been two years since she passed, so how am I gonna move on from both of them, you know?
I actually got bereavement pay from work, because they consider pet loss to be valid and honestly that was really good. Like. Things are bad but at least work has been really understanding and supportive. My manager definitely has my back in all of this and has been super empathetic.
we honestly got some very cute pics before taking her to the vet the last time...I love her ♥
BUT YOU KNOW LIFE JUST KEEPS GOING ON!!!! Otakon happened in the middle of all this and it was really good, despite the stress. Josh and Emmy came down to watch the cats and Emmy is fantastic with ailing animals, so she was honestly a godsend with how Lumos was doing.arachat flew in for the con also, which was so exciting, despite all the stress, so like.......yay? Trying to see the good in the bad times.
Also Miryokucon is this weekend, and Alex is coming down for that + her birthday, so in general my schedule has been full. Just. idk. Trying to do things so I don't keep stressing about Lumos.
I wanna share a bunch of pics of her but I just don't have it in me right now. Everything's real rough, you know? So take these cute pics of her + Ethyl that never fail to bring me joy.
Also...
Lumos passed away last week. She'd been sick on and off over the past couple years (honestly, she was never quite the same after Ethyl passed), but in late July/early August it started getting a lot worse. Our vet was incredibly kind and helpful throughout the whole process, talking us through all the options and helping us decide which ones would actually be beneficial, but eventually there wasn't anything more we could do ;w;
So that's. Yeah. That's been really hard. I felt like I was finally getting into the swing of working and a routine and all that, and then this hit me like a ton of bricks.
We did give her a very good last day though: we all stayed home and sat on the floor so she could get to us (since she couldn't easily jump up on things by that point), watched dumb youtube videos with her (a favorite past time), listened to Knights music so she could hear Leo (aka her favorite person EVER), and just overall spent a relaxing day centered on her needs. Liz managed to get a hold of her previous owner + their roommates, so we did a video a call with one of them and he was so touched to be able to see her again and say goodbye. Which was hard on everyone, but overall really rewarding I think.
idk man. it's been hard. it's been...a lot. I'm still not done processing it and I don't know when I'll ever be????? I'm still processing Ethyl and it hasn't even been two years since she passed, so how am I gonna move on from both of them, you know?
I actually got bereavement pay from work, because they consider pet loss to be valid and honestly that was really good. Like. Things are bad but at least work has been really understanding and supportive. My manager definitely has my back in all of this and has been super empathetic.
we honestly got some very cute pics before taking her to the vet the last time...I love her ♥
BUT YOU KNOW LIFE JUST KEEPS GOING ON!!!! Otakon happened in the middle of all this and it was really good, despite the stress. Josh and Emmy came down to watch the cats and Emmy is fantastic with ailing animals, so she was honestly a godsend with how Lumos was doing.
arachat flew in for the con also, which was so exciting, despite all the stress, so like.......yay? Trying to see the good in the bad times.Also Miryokucon is this weekend, and Alex is coming down for that + her birthday, so in general my schedule has been full. Just. idk. Trying to do things so I don't keep stressing about Lumos.
I wanna share a bunch of pics of her but I just don't have it in me right now. Everything's real rough, you know? So take these cute pics of her + Ethyl that never fail to bring me joy.
no subject
In some ways her being gone now makes it easier to process Ethyl? Like you said, she really took a hit when Ethyl passed, and so it's a comfort to think of them being together? And it also feels like closing the book on that story, in a... Maybe not "good" way, but a satisfying tho sad conclusion that wraps it up as neatly as death can ever be wrapped up.
I know I keep having times this past week where I'll just break down sobbing about her/them... Am I silently crying at my desk right now? Who can say! It's a pretty heavy burden on my heart. I think I put my feelings together really aptly and poetically the other day on discord when I said that "Grief is iterative and leaves you with a thousand tiny papercuts as you find all the places your heart is still bruised."
I love her a lot. And I always will. But I also love you and I love our new kitties and love is infinite and will carry us through this. I just have to keep telling myself that.
no subject
no subject
May Lumos find eternal comfort over the rainbow bridge 🌈
no subject
They are such a lovely pair to look at. Thank you for sharing the photos and for sharing them in general with us.
Hopefully the cons and spending times with friends is a big help.
no subject